Feline Filibuster

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Feline Filibuster
Chapter60 of 127 (list of chapters)
PublishedNovember 24, 2010 (2010-11-24)
Page count18
Major charactersSue, Paulo, Jasmine, Abbey, Daisy, Alec McCain, Tess
Minor charactersMike, Lucy, David, Rachel, Amaya, Katie
LocationsRoseville High School
Collected inVolume Three, Omnibus 1
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← RehearsalPillow Talk →
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Election season hits Roseville High. Sue runs on real, achievable outcomes, Jasmine's ticket promises candy bars and a ban on detention, and Abbey runs on expelling every bully in the building. So naturally, the winner is Daisy, who only joined the race halfway through the debate.

Synopsis

The race starts in the Roseville High School computer lab, where Paulo prints off a thick stack of campaign posters for Jasmine.[1] At lunch, Sue slams into the cafeteria with McCain in tow to announce her own run for student council secretary.[2] Paulo and Jasmine burst in moments later as the rival ticket.[3]

Neither campaign gets through lunch intact. Paulo promises longer vacations, candy at lunch and an end to detention, and McCain patiently explains that none of it is actually possible.[4] Sue's modest, realistic platform fares no better, and the crowd scatters at the mere mention of longer library loans.[5] Then Sue drops the real bomb. Only sophomores can run for secretary, and Jasmine is a freshman. Paulo is the one who typed every last poster, and Jasmine lets him know it: "IT'S ALL OVER THE SCHOOL!! 300 sheets of WRONG, Paulo!!"[6]

Jasmine flails her arms so fast she appears to have four of them, screaming "300 sheets of WRONG, Paulo!!" at a cringing Paulo.
Paulo remembers what grade his girlfriend is in, 300 sheets too late.

While Paulo hand-corrects every poster to "TREASURY" with a marker, Sue lets Lucy in on the bigger plan. She wants a puppet council, with herself as secretary and some agreeable senior installed as figurehead president.[7] Her first pick for the top job is Tess, who refuses flat out: "THE SCHOOL HATES ME."[8] Things get worse from there. Abbey, it turns out, disagrees with most of Sue's policies, and instead of joining her ticket he enters the race against her.[9]

The secretaries' debate is where the race turns ugly. Asked about the reported rise in school bullying, Abbey answers with a single word: expulsion.[10] He follows with a broken-windows speech read off a sheet Daisy hands him, while flashback panels show a bully named Noah shoving Tess into the lockers.[11] Sue accuses him of scare tactics and brands the whole platform a fascist dictatorship.[12]

"Fascist" is the word that finally breaks him. Abbey slams his fists down and screams "BULLIES SHOULD ROT IN HELL!!" The room falls silent, apart from Paulo's helpful "Hit her!"[13] Daisy calms Abbey down with a reminder about his counselor and a stress ball, then takes his place at the podium as a strictly temporary substitute.[14]

The speech does quieter damage out in the audience. Back at lunch, Lucy had blown her nose on Mike's scarf without asking, which is business as usual for those two.[2] As Abbey rails on about bullies and abuse, Mike turns a judgmental frown on Lucy. She goes white and refuses to look at him.[12]

In the end Daisy wins, with every ballot in sight marked in her favor, and Sue collapses under the caption DEFEATED.[15] A "WHAT REALLY HAPPENED" flashback tells the true story. Paulo spent the campaign grimly ordering student after student to vote for her.[16] Daisy then hands the job away. It was Abbey's campaign all along, she reasons, and she has eighteen other extracurriculars anyway. Abbey smiles thinly at the news: "Heh heh heh.. Just according to plan.."[17]

Secretary Abbey wastes no time. He declares a lunchtime trash-pickup day for orange cats, which lands squarely on Paulo.[18] Jasmine, who won the treasurer's race, gets him back on Paulo's behalf. She converts the bake sale money into thousands of pennies and has them delivered straight into Abbey's locker.[18]

Critical moments

Abbey smiles thinly against a green background, saying "Heh heh heh.. Just according to plan..".
Roseville High's incoming secretary, everybody.
  • Sue reveals that only sophomores can run for secretary, voiding Jasmine's freshman campaign and all 300 of Paulo's posters. Jasmine switches to the treasurer's race instead.[6][7]
  • Sue brands Abbey's anti-bullying platform a fascist dictatorship, and his temper snaps mid-debate. He screams that bullies should rot in hell, and Daisy has to defuse him with a stress ball.[13][14]
  • Abbey's speech about bullies and abuse lands somewhere he never aimed it. Mike turns a judgmental frown on Lucy, who goes white and looks away.[12]
  • Daisy wins the election, thanks to Paulo strong-arming voters one at a time, and promptly hands the seat to Abbey. He calls it "Just according to plan.."[16][17]

Character dynamics

  • Mike and Lucy: Lucy's rough treatment of Mike has always passed as normal between them, and blowing her nose on his scarf at lunch is just the latest example.[2] Abbey's tirade recasts that habit as something much uglier. Mike frowns at her across the auditorium, and Lucy can't bring herself to meet his eyes.[12] Not a word is exchanged, but the chill carries straight into Pillow Talk, where he ignores her on her own birthday.[19]
  • Sue and Abbey: Sue greets Abbey as an assumed campaign ally and gets a rival instead.[9] By mid-debate she is calling his platform fascist and he is screaming at her from the stage.[12][13] Sue insists afterward that she got over the loss, but watching Abbey land the seat anyway horrifies her all over again.[16][17]
  • Daisy and Abbey: Daisy starts the chapter as Abbey's aide, handing him his speech and managing his temper on stage.[11][14] By the end she has run in his place, won, and given him the seat. On the evidence, she is the more electable half of the couple.[17]

Trivia & observations

  • The chapter title was a beta-title from Oliver, who scripted the first six or so pages. Veronica's own working title was "Elections".[1]
  • A post on the authors' Tumblr sets the chapter in late 2007, between Halloween and Lucy's birthday — hence David's "running for Obama?" crack.[3][20]
  • Lucy using Mike's scarf as a tissue revives the running gag from Wardrobe Malfunction, a chapter the group spends wiping all manner of things on that poor scarf. Veronica's commentary greets the return with "How nostalgic!"[2][21]

Related chapters

  • Pillow Talk: The very next chapter shows the fallout of the debate's silent Mike and Lucy beat. It's Lucy's birthday, and Mike ignores her while happily greeting everyone else.
  • Under Pressure: The source of Abbey's debate flashbacks. Noah pins Tess against a wall in this chapter, and it's Abbey who drives him off.
  • A Different Side: The history behind "THE SCHOOL HATES ME". At the pep rally, Tess was forced on stage and booed by the whole school.

References

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 1
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 2
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 3
  4. ↑ Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 4
  5. ↑ Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 5
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 6
  7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 7
  8. ↑ Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 8
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 9
  10. ↑ Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 10
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 11
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 12.3 12.4 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 12
  13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 13.2 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 13
  14. ↑ 14.0 14.1 14.2 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 14
  15. ↑ Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 15
  16. ↑ 16.0 16.1 16.2 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 16
  17. ↑ 17.0 17.1 17.2 17.3 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 17
  18. ↑ 18.0 18.1 Chapter 60: Feline Filibuster, page 18
  19. ↑ Chapter 61: Pillow Talk, page 3
  20. ↑ . 2017-03-22 https://bittersweetcandybowl.tumblr.com/post/158720061474. {{cite web}}: Missing or empty |title= (help)
  21. ↑ Chapter 24: Wardrobe Malfunction, page 1
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