Augustus, You Jerk 2
 | This chapter is exclusively available to members of Bittersweet Club International. |
| Augustus, You Jerk #2 | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Published | July 1, 2016 |
| Page count | 6 |
| Major characters | Augustus |
| Minor characters | Lucy, Paulo, Mike |
| Locations | Augustus’s house |
| Chapter navigation | |
| ← Blind Date | Magical Girl Redux → |
| Read in the BCI Members’ Library | |
Augustus, You Jerk #2 is a Bittersweet Club International-exclusive gag comic starring Augustus at his very worst. He wakes up in a wonderful mood, heads out into the sunshine, and spends the whole day telling everyone he meets exactly what they least want to hear.
Partial synopsis
A chirping cricket beside Augustus’s bed wakes him. He sits up beaming, strolls outside into the sunshine, and takes a deep breath. “What a beautiful day..” he says. Then he opens his eyes. “..to wreck lives.”[1]
Lucy is the first person Augustus approaches. He creeps up behind her, whispers her name twice, then screams it. When she tells him to leave her alone, he taunts her about how often Mike already does so. He then calls her a parasite whom nobody likes before walking off with a cheery wave and leaving Lucy in giant tears.[2]
Paulo confronts Augustus and gets a roast of his own. Augustus tells him that Daisy considers him a disappointment, then plays barking sounds from a device while Paulo cowers and cries. When Mike protests, Augustus grabs a megaphone and turns Mike’s concern about his distant girlfriend against him.[3] And Augustus is barely warming up. Half of Roseville is still out there waiting its turn, and as far as he’s concerned, there isn’t a soul in town who can lay a glove on him...
Trivia & observations
- The comic’s public teaser ends with “Boom, roasted!”, the refrain Michael Scott repeats while roasting his coworkers in The Office.
- Augustus punctuates several of his opening insults with heart symbols. He even frames his shouted reminder that Mike’s girlfriend never calls with a heart on either side, delivering the line through a megaphone.[2][3]
- Years later, in Line in the Sand, Augustus reminds Mike that he “called her an unlovable parasite”, returning to the words used against Lucy in this comic.[2][4]
Related chapters
- December: Augustus’s final insult to Lucy reworks Mike’s words from this chapter. During his outburst, Mike tells her, “Nobody does. Why would they? You’re a parasite.”[5]
- Boy Toy: Augustus targets Mike’s long-distance relationship. In this chapter, Sandy goes days without replying to Mike’s messages, and he admits, “Even a little heart symbol would tide me over.”[6]